Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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