Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
