I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
