So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
