Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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