You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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