Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
