Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
