Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
