No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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