I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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