i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
