I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
