Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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