don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
