4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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