Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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