You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Randomize
