nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
