I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
