yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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