You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
