I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
