we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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