I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
