Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
