Already got asked if we're dating
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
