His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
