You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
