I must be too annoying 4 u.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
