Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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