Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize