Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
