We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
