i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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