we're blogging at a bar
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
