ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize