she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
