At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
