i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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