My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
