:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
love makes seman taste better
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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