just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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