Sponge bath it is.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
