How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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