O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
