i permit you to call me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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