CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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