rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
