Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
