I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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