Dual....:-)
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Randomize
