So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
