10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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