She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
