I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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