please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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