Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize