Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
