pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
