we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
