11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
