i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just high enough for therapy.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
