Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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