At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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