omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
