And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
