her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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